Before you even think about love affirmations, you should probably ask, do they work? The thought of repeating a phrase over and over to create a change might seem far-fetched to some people. Dr Sophie Henshaw doesn’t believe they work, because she says positive affirmations target the conscious mind rather than the subconscious.
It’s true to say that changing deep-rooted beliefs isn’t possible without speaking to the subconscious mind, but it can be done. The conscious and subconscious are both connected, normally with the subconscious influencing the conscious. It can work the other way too.
If you plant a positive thought or phrase into your conscious mind, then you keep repeating it, the subconscious mind will eventually notice it. The repetition is what makes the difference because the subconscious will respond to it without questioning it. It’s a bit like recording over old tapes and it is this that can make using affirmations successful.
Do Love Affirmations Work?
It’s worth trying to understand the effect that positive self-affirmation has on the brain. Researchers from the Annenberg School for Communication found it activates known reward centers in the brain connected to self-processing. It acts as “a kind of emotional buffer to any painful, negative or threatening information that follows.”
This suggests that affirmations about our self can have a beneficial affect on how we feel. How we feel effects how we act, which in turn, influences our situations and what happens to us. The affirmation itself doesn’t change things in our world, but it can have an influence on results.
Perhaps looking at it in this way might convince doubters that there may be some credibility to affirmations. Look at it this way, they are like a headache tablet, it numbs the pain until it goes away! This is all very well for changing yourself, but what about the world around you?
First Things First
Before you start looking for love, you must look within. It might sound like a cliché, but you must love yourself first. Not in a conceited way, but have an appreciation of who and what you are. If you don’t love yourself, how on earth do you expect someone else to do so?
If you’re the type of person who is always critical of yourself, that’s the vibe you’re sending out to others. You’re not worthy, you’re not attractive and nothing ever goes right for you. Who’s going to want a piece of that? It’s enough to send anyone running in the opposite direction.
Take a hard look at yourself, look for all the things that are good about you. Yes, you do have some, you might not think it, but if you look deep enough you’ll find some. Ask yourself and answer honestly, do you want or need love? If the answer is need, it’s probable that you lack love of yourself. You can’t replace a lack of love for yourself with a perceived love from someone else. That’s a relationship doomed for failure from the start.
Using Love Affirmations
So, hopefully now you accept that to find love, you must be happy with yourself. You shouldn’t be looking because you’re lonely. If you focus on the fact you’re lonely, you’ll get more of it coming back to you. You’ll probably even attract the sort of relationships which are short and end up making you feel worse.
If you want love with a specific person, I’m not sure I believe it’s possible to achieve and depending on the circumstances, I’m of the opinion, it’s wrong to try. By this I mean, it’s fine for you to work on changing your world, but wrong to try and change the world of someone else. That’s their job, not yours. You shouldn’t even consider “forcing” a change on someone, just to suit your own needs.
“Loving” yourself is important as it will help you to feel the love you want to offer out. If you’re feeling and giving in that way, it’s more likely you’ll receive it back. A good way to start with love affirmations is to use “I am”, then follow it with a positive statement. This puts the focus on you, it lifts your vibration to a frequency where you feel good. You’ll make the right decisions and take the right actions to put yourself in a position to attract like vibrations back to you.
Have Fun with Love Affirmations
Googling love affirmations that work or something similar, will bring up thousands of them. You’ll be able to get a lot of ideas. It’s best to make up your own so you can personalise them. It’s important to make them about you.
Something like, “I am so happy with the love I have in my life” is simple and shouldn’t be difficult to accept. Because it acknowledges you have love in your life, it suggests you have love for yourself and are happy with that. It’s a powerful statement that can bring on good feelings and that’s when your subconscious begins to pick it up. This is when your belief can start to change, for the better.
When you’re working on fulfilling your own wants (not needs), you won’t be so desperate to find someone to fill the gap. You’ll begin to act and react differently. You won’t necessarily become a different person, but you will be instigating change. This is when you find yourself in different circumstances and new people start to come into your life. You might lose a few of the old ones, but your personal love affirmations will have opened up a new beginning.