Look at yourself and where you’re at, is it where you want to be? If not, do you accept responsibility? Do you believe that you are the creator of your own destiny? It’s so much easier to blame outside influences or other people. The truth is, when you accept that it’s down to you, it can be hard to take.
Now some people believe our future is predetermined and we have no control over it. All we are doing is playing it out and what will be, will be. I don’t subscribe to that theory, to me it’s the same as shifting the blame elsewhere. If you think your future is not your call, then I believe you’re giving away control. Saying that its fate and “the way it’s meant to be” are excuses in my book.
Of course, the way we were “shaped” in our early years by those who brought us up and taught us, will most likely affect our destiny. Our beliefs and values were instilled into us in our first few years, but they do not need to be set in stone, we can choose to change – if we want to.
What is Destiny?
It’s a common misconception to think that fate and destiny are the same thing. While they are similar in outcome, there is an important difference. Fate is used to describe events that happen which are beyond your control and determine your future. These events are usually thought to be controlled by supernatural forces.
Destiny, on the other hand, is the events that will happen to determine your future, but are not necessarily beyond your control. It comes from the Latin, destinare or destinata, which means to make firm or establish. Both fate and destiny do often assume there is outside control, but destiny is an outcome which can be influenced by you.
The way I see it, is that destiny is an end result created by someone or something. If that’s the case, then surely it can be you creating it for yourself? You’ve heard the saying, “you control your own destiny”, which suggests you’re in the driver’s seat and can go to where you want to. Any decision you make will affect what happens to you. The way you act will affect those around you and they will react in a way which can determine your future. Even though their reaction may affect your future, it was you who caused it in the first place.
Why You are the Creator of Your Own Destiny
The decisions we take, the roads on which we choose to travel, have caused us to arrive where we are. Yes, there were other influences in play, but it was you who made the choices and took the journey. I was always taught that you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I still believe its true, although you will have to face any consequences resulting from that decision. Those consequences might be imposed on you by someone else, but it was you who were the cause of them.
Look at any area of your life you’re not satisfied with. Now see if you can find how you (not someone else) caused it to be this way. In my career of 35 years in the same industry, having reached near to the top of it, I was paid off after a company takeover. It was the new company that decided to let me go, but it was the path I had chosen that led me to it.
Early on in my career I’d decided I wanted to reach my peak towards the end of it. That’s exactly what happened. Because I was older and had held quite a senior position, it became near impossible to find another job in the same line. I didn’t create the circumstances – the company takeover etc, but I had chosen my destiny and the roads I’d taken, led me to it. When you look at it in this way, you begin to realize the power you really do have over yourself, you are the creator of your own destiny.
How to Create Your Own Destiny
Once you accept that your destiny is created by you, it shows you how honest and responsible you need to be to yourself. Decide what you want your destiny to be and be very clear about it. It’s no good creating a vague or generic outcome because chances are you won’t get what you want. In fact, you’ll probably end up with something very different from what you want. Don’t be frightened to set big goals, you can break them down into smaller ones and then persistence is the key to reaching them. You can’t be positive and optimistic for 100% of the time, but strive to be so, as much as possible.
Whatever it is that you want, must come from within and be fired with a passion. No one else is going to do it for you – you are responsible for you! Some people find it better to decide who you want to be, rather than what you want to be doing or achieving. Who you are and deciding who you want to become, will affect your destiny, but it adds passion and satisfaction. Using these emotions attached to your desire will make it more powerful and important to you. Be aware that we make both conscious and unconscious choices, so monitor your thoughts and feelings.
The way you feel, is as a result of what your thinking. If what you think is guided by your beliefs, then taking note of how you feel, is a clue to your beliefs. Do they need to change and if so, how? Make sure your beliefs align with your planned destiny. There’s no point going on a journey if you don’t believe you’ll reach the destination.
Take in as much information as you need to, learn, practice and master. Do what you have to do, so you’re equipped with what you need to win. Don’t worry about failures along the way or little twists and turns, they are part of the learning. You are the creator of your own destiny, don’t give up or give it to someone else, it’s your responsibility.